Jerre Kalbas has been active in the queer community since the 1930’s. Photo: Jerre Kalbas
Jerre Kalbas, 97, cook, silversmith, and native New Yorker: Jerre Kalbas doesn’t remember the first time she went to a gay bar, but she does remember everything else. There was the time she spent a (platonic) evening with two of J. Edgar Hoover’s prostitutes. The time she went to a bar and ran into a man who wanted her to become a Russian spy. Or the time she and her friends left a bar at four in the morning, only to run into Eleanor Roosevelt (then living on Washington Square Park West, near her rumored girlfriend) walking her dog. “Why hello ladies,” Eleanor said to them. Jerre has stories.
Jerre (far right). Photo courtesy of Jerre Kalbas
While most people tend to associate gay history with tragedy, her stories are grounded in love and comedy. Jerre started going to gay bars in the 1930’s, and has been active in the queer community ever since. “We had these three wonderful bars when I was growing up,” she tells me. “And other ones in basements. So many of them. We would just go from one to the other.” Butch women dated femme women, femme women dated butch women, “but on the side,” she says, “who knows what happened?”
Still, Jerre remembers banding with gay men for protection. “At that time, cops would come in,” she says. “They were trying to raid the bars. As soon as we knew someone was coming, we’d start dancing with the guys, so people would think it was a straight bar.” Now that Jerre’s 97, and an active member at SAGE (a national non-profit serving LGBTQ seniors), she’s maintained and rebuilt so many of her friendships with the gay male community.
Jerre can’t believe how few queer bars are left, but she’s not exactly sobbing, either. When I tell her about the article I’m writing, she offers to have everyone I’ve interviewed over to her house and serve pizza. It’s a beautiful gesture (especially in the light of recent pizza-related events) and I want to make it happen. Our bars might be on their way out, and some of our favorite parties might have died, but people like Jerre still want to sit down at a table with a group of total strangers. Grab a chair, maybe a drink, then listen to their stories.
Maro Hagopian
Turino
Fantastic piece! Thanks for including Hot Rabbit! Such rich history!
Truly an excellent story, one of the best I’ve ever read on dyke bars in the city. I miss those days when you could sit on the filthy velvet couches in the basement of Meow Mix and get drunk as hell while deciding who you were going to try and take home that evening. Thank goodness that party promoters like Sabrina and Ellie are still making lesbian-friendly spaces happen for New York’s women.
It’s pretty disheartening being a young woman and having no where to go, or such few options, because they might all not be your scene. This speaks much more to gender inequality as well as gentrification. Women need exclusive spaces to hang out, independent of gay male spaces because we are different and that should be respected.
I do not see this as a bad thing. Lesbians no longer need to go to bars for a “safe” meeting place. We are more accepted being among the general population now. I enjoy going to bars for humans.
Christine, the point of this article is to bring attention to the lack of options gay women have to hang out with people that “get you”, and the nostalgia of the way it use to be.
if you want to kiss your lover, caress, or snuggle up to her in a cozy, intimate manner, that type of affectionate display would NOT go over well in a straight scene. I’m not saying they’d chased the couple out of the club/restaurant etc. but there would be those that would be offended, and some that would stare in amazement as if the gay couple were starring in a science fiction movie.
This piece is about socializing, being in your flow with women that are of your same tribe, period!
Xoxoxo
Yea im a butch and I WOULDN’T SAY lesbians get accepted in straight places they just R TOLERATED. Im a butch and I almost ALWAYS get ppl staring at me. (I hate this) MAKES ME SUPER UNCOMFORTABLE. or get a guy giving me the hateful eye. Thanx to laws and more ppl comin out that hav siblings that support em n society changing ppl just dont get violent anymore. We need coffee shops restaurants that turn into clubs bars to have that comfort. Im sure the Majority of us do not feel completely comfortable to lightly make out in a crowed straight restaurant. Most of us who have i dont care attude yea but ur not completely comfortable. Its imperative that gays n lez stick together! I love gay n lez lounges. I wish they mix em more its ur ppl n its very friendly. I c big clubs n more advantages if the community unites jus alil bit more. We should be tight knit n overtaking blocks with strong business
Poorly researched. What happened to Elaine Romagnoli?
Did she not own/manage Bonnie and Clydes?
Was she not the creator of the original Cubbyhole?
Check Elaine R.in FB….Please someone open up other Lesbian Bar….like in the 80,s it would be so much fun….:)
Tell me about it here I’m celebrating my birthday and I despise Henrietta’s because it really sucks now and Cubbyhole is too small for a big group of friends and Hot Rabbit last night with The Monster lounge was last week so I feel like I’m all out of options if anyone know of any lesbian events on Friday the 13 let me know even though I highly doubt it.I’m even thinking about opening a lesbian bar for all this searching I have to do on the internet.
WELLL))))) that was some sad tale!!!!..left me ever so thankfull of having lived during the years of the high life lesbian bars…and werent they SOMETHINg!!!! yes they were……if you worked all week and knew friday you were going out..it meant you were going to one or more clubs that night..and ..you couldnt wait!!!!…..you dressed to impress!!!! …if you frequanted them on regular basis you were known and you were greeted when you entered the door……you felt accepted and you knew you belonged……..Its terrebly sad that Lesbian bars/clubs have had to close!!And every year another one disapeares…….And i wonder why there wasnt a way to have preserved them…….if in Amsterdam and you wanted to go to the red light district you were directed how to get there………… they exist. there still!!!!!.there is a place for everything….theire not sqeezed out of society……but Alas back to where we are at!!!….the loss is significant and the years ahead will tell the tale………… i was part of somthing wonderful and memorable………..im 78 now And probly the last lesbian lounge i i frequanted was wonderful”….. Ruby fruits”……a bar and lounge and a lovely restaurant beneath……..very romantic…….perfect for after work…… yu met your buddies there….. . in the nineties i frequanted “””JULIES” ……i believe it was on 57 or 58 the street in manhatten…..if you went there after work at 5oclock you got to meet gals that just got out of the office secrataries and gals that just wanted to chill before the heavier crowds would pile in after 8………..it was wondrfully exscusive!!!! and had the most beautifull woman……….Including the charming” Merryl “…….who made your drink and knew what you drank without being told . Yes ive been to them all……in the seveties there was THE SAHARA!! the notorious!!!! in a townhouse on 3rd and 65th…….3 levels.. with a piano bar ist level……dancing on the top!! what absolute fun that was…….toot toot bee beep!!!! donna summers heat on the dance floor…….thank you for the memories girls…….. my first bar in the city was in the sixties at THE SEA COLONY………….its like you are in a movie as your mind opens a lens into the past…….. everyone slow danced on the floor..lights were dim….. And Maria was the bar maid/butch…who everyone wanted….she was ALL THAT!!!!…. i could list so many…. and as i do i see what is lost………………..Iam a letter wrter…. no email for me……i still buy pages of beautifull stamps and …frequant the post office!!!..im told that as people are now paying bills online no one goes to the p.o anymore…. and that many branches have closed across the country!!!..and i foresee that there will come another generation in time to come that will say Did you know people used to write letters that were delivered to your mail box.. Real hand held writing in an envelope????…..some will sAY WHY OTHERS will sense the loss………… if you leave a letter behind and it is read 100 years from now it will be as fresh as the day it was writen………..including the scent you put there. So what will that generation think about manhatten having lost all of its lesbian bars………and question why…….??.. Once there there was Cookies on 14th street The Martha Washington” on 3RD Bonnie and Clyde…..The Tigress on 28th and park ave south…. Paulas lounge in the village……The grand “Dutchess ” near Christopher st …. .”Julies” “Nannies” on Hudson………and the list is endless…….thank you for having left me with countless memories of wild nights unforgetable hilarious fun!!!…………………
Truthfully nightlife culture in NYC has changed drastically over the years… how many clubs are left in the city? I worked at the Limelight in the late 90’s right up until it closed in the early 2000’s, a haven for the subculture and gay scenes. It was just one in the never ending string of NYC institutions that closed over the last 15 years, and just this summer the last of the big clubs, Webster Hall, finally shut its doors to be converted into strictly a performance venue. I think the entire subculture scene has just slowly started disappearing, and that includes lesbian and gay bars. I’m thankful that Henrietta’s is holding on, it’s sad that the heyday of NYC nightlife is just over.