Take Back the Teens

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In ’80s and ’90s teen movies girls were always choosing between the golden-on-the-outside jock and the perfect-on-the-inside punk-nerd-misfit (or the secretly sensitive jock). In the world of Twilight they chose between blood-lusty, yet earnest vamps and chestily territorial werewolves. If the psycho-social-sexual implications of that are more than you can bear (especially without any of the hilarity or self-aware camp of True Blood), head to the Nitehawk on Sunday to watch the Raspberry Brothers mock New Moon while you brunch. Their live comedy at the expense of Edward’s sparkly skin and the movie’s ponderously dull dialogue will set all things right with the world–especially if you go home and watch Heathers¬† as a chaser.

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