The other day, my coworker and I were playing that game where you list the top things that everyone else is obsessed with but you feel kinda meh about. Mine were coconut water, sweet potato fries (seriously, guys, you prefer these when regular fries are an option? ) and Wes Anderson movies. His were “New York seasons.”
“New York seasons? What in hell do you mean?,” I asked, astounded by this blasphemous proclamation from a young, cocky transplant from California. “I mean it’s all anyone around here talks about–fall… IN NEW YORK, spring…IN NEW YORK— and it’s just like, yeah, it’s sunny out, big deal. This happens everywhere else in the world too.”
The exchange made me laugh and also gave me a lot to think about, because I’m probably the worst perpetrator of this (admittedly pretty insufferable) New Yorkism that I know. Then again, look outside right now! I challenge you to walk a few blocks to pick up your lunch (preferably through a park, if you have one handy) and not have your mood instantly improve, no matter how stressed out or down in the dumps you feel. We’ve got a gorgeous stretch of weather ahead of us as we dive into this Ideal Week, and so no matter what you do, you should really make some time to get outdoors and enjoy it. At any rate, do not start watching the addictive Netflix series, Love, at 10pm one night and then stay up until 4am like a lunatic to finish it, thereby ruining your ability to function in any meaningful way for the ensuing 72 hours. Just a tip from an old pro.
Thursday, April 14 Everybody Wants Some! at BAM (among other theaters) tickets $14↠
Friday, April 15 Court Tree Collective Alice in Wonderland Dinner, Carroll Gardens, 7:30pm, tickets $75 ↠
Saturday, April 16 Bulletin Market, Bushwick, free ↠ Brooklyn By Bike Donut ride, starts at Grand Army Plaza, 11am, suggested donation $5 (plus cash for donuts) ↠ Dancing On My Own 80s-00s Prom Party at Littlefield, Gowanus, tickets $5 in advance↠ Brooklyn Crab Spring Oyster Fest, Red Hook, 2pm, tickets $55 ↠
Sunday, April 17 Bulletin Market, Bushwick, free ↠
Monday, April 18 Live Band Karaoke at Brooklyn Bowl, Williamsburg, 8pm, tickets $8 ↠
Tuesday, April 19 I Voted at the Bell House, Gowanus, 8pm, free ↠
Wednesday, April 20 How to Smoke Pot Properly launch party at PowerHouse Arena, DUMBO, 7-9pm, free, RSVP ↠
Unless you’ve been camping out under a rock, you’re already aware that Thursday night brings both Democratic presidential candidates to the best borough in the best city in the country for a televised debate at the Brooklyn Navy Yard. What you might not realize is that there are no tickets to the event available to the public, so you’ll have to head to a your favorite bar if you want to be surrounded by a crowd when you watch Hillz and the Bernman face off in advance of Tuesday’s primary. If you’ve already picked your horse and can’t bear the emotional trauma of sitting through another unpleasant chapter of this volatile, high-stakes election cycle, escape to the movies instead! Richard Linklater’s well-reviewed sequel to Dazed and Confused, Everybody Wants Some!, is finally at BAM this week, and a comedy about college baseball players set in 1980 Texas honestly sounds like a welcome antidote to the 2016 presidential race.
Friday means the end of the work week and down the rabbit hole with you, because the Table of Contents Supper Club and Court Tree Collective are collaborating to produce a special Alice in Wonderland-themed dinner at 7:30pm. Lewis Carroll’s trippy tale, which has been weirding little kids out since the mid-1800s, has inspired a multi-course menu of dishes like Mad Hatter’s toast, Mock Turtle soup, DRINK ME wine, and Queen of Hearts tarts with treacle and black pepper. Meanwhile, Saturday is supposed to be sunny and spring-like, so it’s the perfect time to brush the cobwebs off your bike and get that baby back in action. Need some extra incentive? What if we told you that Brooklyn by Bike is leading a 15-mile Tour de Donut, which involves stops at fried dough purveyors like Peter Pan, Dough, Donut Plant, and Dunwell? Just don’t forget to bring cash (the suggested donation for the ride is $5, and you’ll want to buy all the donuts you can cram in your face). Another option is to take a ride to Red Hook for Brooklyn Crab’s Spring Oyster Fest, which runs from 2-5pm and features all-you-can-eat regional oysters and craft beer from Southern Tier Brewing. Cap off the evening by dancing with yourself (or your friends) at the Dancing On My Own 80s-00s Prom Party.
Sunday, head to Bushwick to check out the brand new Bulletin pop-up market at Lot45 (the market is running on Saturday too). We profiled Bulletin, a one-stop online shop for awesome and unique gifts, jewelry, home decor, and more made by local NYC artists, a few months back, but this is the first time the site is gathering its vendors IRL for an in-person shopping event featuring food trucks, DJs, and tons of great merchandise to peruse.
On Monday night, kick the week off right with some karaoke, but this isn’t the tinny sound system with slightly off instrumentals and creepy accompanying videos you’ve come to know and love–this time you get to belt out the crowd-pleasing classics while fronting a full rock band. It’s Live Band Karaoke at Brooklyn Bowl starting at 8pm. I’ve done it before and can attest that it’s pretty much the most fun you can have for $8 on a Monday, so start brushing up on your Bowie, Boss, or Bon Jovi now so you can really bring the house down.
Don’t forget to vote on Tuesday! For the first time that anyone can remember, the New York primary actually matters this year (and that is pretty much the least astonishing thing about this presidential election). After your ballot is cast, celebrate your participation in the democratic process by heading over to The Bell House to watch the returns come in on the big projection screen and start downing some liquid courage–we’re all gonna need it if we’re going to make it until November with this much on the line. If you wear your “I Voted” sticker, you’ll get happy hour drink prices all night.
In keeping with the mind-altering substances theme, Wednesday is 4/20, so it’s only appropriate that powerHouse Arena is chose this day to host a launch party for the definitive guide to the brave new world of post-prohibition cannabis consumption. Join Vice columnist and former High Times editor David Bienenstock as he discusses his new book, How to Smoke Pot (properly): A Highbrow Guide to Getting High, which covers everything from marijuana’s medicinal and aphrodisiac properties to the latest legalization efforts to how to throw a weed-themed dinner party.