Don’t Let Robyn Dance on Her Own


Let’s be honest here—Robyn is the baddest bitch in pop music, hands down, bar none. She predates Britney, was perfecting modern electronic dance music while Gaga was still a brunette named Stefani, and had broken, been prematurely dismissed, and launched a critically-acclaimed comeback while Katy Perry was still hoping for a single on the Christian contemporary charts. She writes her own songs, runs her own label, and doesn’t give a flying you-know-what all while wearing the ugliest shoes ever manufactured on Earth, and all the cool kids love her for it. So the real question is not why Silent Drape Runners are throwing a party at Public Assembly completely dedicated to her for no reason other than her awesomeness, but why they haven’t done it pretty much every night before. To make up for lost time, it’s going to be a night of All-Robyn everything, with free vodka shots for the first half hour, costume contests, a Robyn-izing photo booth (home installation, anyone?), prizes and more. The absolute best part as far as I’m concerned? The “Call Your Girlfriend” dance-off, where party-goers will try their hardest to knock the crown off this guy.  —V.R.

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